falling down

an admission to her fault is not so easily received by her people. So, now what? People once again call for change. Another election? Another corrupt official to step up? Another EDSA? Seems like all we wnat is change but we never seem to be happy about it.

God, the entire country is in shambles. Crab, anyone?

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Now that my money is now officially equal to nothing, i am a poor woman.

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i gotta get a job.

the X-files file #000143

Why is it that when you're confronted with the past you tend to clam up?

Hearing your voice made me want to cry for some reason. I guess it's all that pent-up emotion i am trying to keep out of my voice. Weird how even through wires and static i can hear you smile and vizualize how animated your face gets when you talk.

*sigh*

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great, Lette. Just great. While you're at it, make an L with your fingers and put it up against your forehead. smooth

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The_guy_with_shamu_hair

guy_with_shamu_hair
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

went to Sea World and this is what i got out of it. :-)

5 days into it

so it's been like, about 5 days since i got to LA. So far, all i've seen is Suburbia Central, which is pretty interesting, if not surreal. The whole idea of living in the suburbs all your life, is, as my cousin puts it, BORING.

Well, i gotta give him points for that. The place is too comfortable i guess, that if i don't watch it i get sucked into the surreality of it all. Which is why, i feel, that i should really venture out and do the commute thing...

Anyhoo, we actually went on a trip yesterday. San Diego is two hours from where i'm staying, and the ride was a bit unsettling. I never imagined California to be so VAST that it would take a two-hour ride (straight driving at that) to get to another city. Yup, EDSA was never like the Freeway either. I have a newfound respect for drivers who frequent the freeway, and master its winding roads and confusing intersections and exits.

We went to SeaWorld (yup, the park) which was pretty interesting. I was with three cousins and no adults, which accounted for the fact that we pretty much did anything we wanted, with no "plan" --- made going around disorganized, hectic and yes, FUN! Of course, you can't help but get a feeling of de ja vu when you encounter theme parks (cue theme music from "Enchanted Kingdom") ... (i'll post some pics soon, i think) By the time nightfall came we were tired from teh walking, burned from the sun (no sunscreen) and broke from all that food and junk we bought. hehhe.

I just wish my family was here to enjoy all this.

Flowers at the lawn

flowers at the lawn
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

This is the front lawn of my aunt's place --- the roses are just amazing!!!

oh woe is me...

Damn Globe pre-paid for the useless crap they call a service. I have not been without a fone for more than 6 hours. ARGH. The past three days have seen me longingly trying to send MMS/ texts to Manila (as promised by those dastardly conniving peeps at the service center) only to be unrequited.

My cellfone is considered useless at this point, nothing more than a standby camera. *sigh* With that gone and my YM non-existent, i am facing the basics of life. Literally.

I have started missing texting so much that i actually installed a Chikka messenger on my cousin's computer, using my now-defunct globe number ( i say defunct because i can't do anything with it --- it can receive messages but it cant do anything else). I'm hoping this will do for now... *sigh*

See, this is what happens when you switch networks.

ARGH.

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"in suburbia..."

Arriving at my Aunt's house reminded me so much of the Pet Shop Boys' songs. It's amazing --- i always thought this was only seen in the movies.

Boy, was i ever wrong.

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Life here is quieter and for the past few days i've been here, it's been, well, kinda surreal. But i'm not complaining. The heat is dry (no sweat!), the chores are pretty can-do, and the people are nice.

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It's great to see old friends, especially the ones you miss.

lost in transit

in an internet shop somewhere in the airport of Incheon. Having a short stopover befbefore i head off to LA... trip has been short and kinda turbulent...made me wish i was back home.... i am in the throes of chaos as finding a measly $3 is becoming a tumultuous task amidst the language barriers and inconsisitent translations... oh well...

wishing for safety, love and well,hoepfully contentment soon....and of course, peace of mind...

*sigh*

Once again, i am the master of wrong timing.

*sigh* so much for peace of mind...

Why can't you just talk to me!?! All i want from you are some answers...

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i was never good with metaphors. I always liked things to be straightforward, simple, direct. honest. Unfortunately, when you're in a situation wherein you don't consider just yourself, things get tricky. i was ok before, and i don't have to think about it as much, but now... Shit. Sometimes i wish i can just... go back in time andtry to fix things.

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scattered nuggets

new hair, new style / burdensome adjustment / family crisis / re-adjustment / falling down / anti-driving lessons / moving blues / worrying about Mom / life altering decisions / procrastinating / worrywart attack / Iloilo reminiscing / StarMart coffee n yosi / brotherly luv / computer wrecking / idea hashing / YM / missing the peeps / doubting thomas / sleeping in / movie and tv / all-nighter on the cable / missing the simple life / loving the moment / wishing the best / missing the past / hoping for the future

the news

Staying up all night has its advantages, you get to know the news first:

Jackson's a Free Man now, while GMA is getting some more needling from higher ups. While we're at it, the peso-dollar rate just skyrocketed (P55.20=1$!?!!!? SHIT!), so i'm poorer now than i was before :-(

*sigh* True Love (?) i guess can lead you to many paths --- looks like it's Katie Holmes' new thing these days.

Too bad mine never gave a peep. :-(

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Ah, mornings.

*sunshine*

wear me out
my sunshine smile
let me share your play
i hope to hide behind your grin
and fade the clouds away

perhaps you can lend me
some happiness to get by
perhaps the rain won't come down
that though at times i still cry
i will come around

i hear your whisper
sunshine smile
i know i should be happy
yet inside me i cannot stop
the tears that pour out from me

small miracles

moving forward (as my boss would often say), i shall try to see the lighter (and happier) side of life. Thus, amidst this so-called existence that i have, i would like to be thankful for the many distractions which offer me solace and temporary sanctuary from the worries that freak me out:

24-hour coffee shops which i unusually frequent the past few days with, with my cousin. The place, a local coffee joint in a local Starmart, is reminiscent of my Shell Gas station days. The coffee is cheap but good, the conversation keeps on coming, and yes, there is the occasional encounter with friends from high school (natch!).

DSL connection Bad as this may sound, i am very grateful forthe DSL connection my brother ardently campaigned for, much to my mom's resistance. The internet is faster, the connection is waaay better and yes, now we don't have a skyrocketing bill of endless dial-up bills. Bad news? It fuels my insomniac tendencies.

cable TVYou got that right. Watching almost 24 hours of cable made me realize how much i was missing when i was staying in Manila. Blameit on the fab shows, the endless stream of sitcoms or just plain tv crazed, but i am sure glad thetv is there with its endless shows and movies.

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Ok, material shit aside, i am extremely thankful for:

my family, for putting up with me and my erratic mood swings ever since i got here.

my brothers, who, for the life of me, enjoy my cooking and ask me to cook more cookies forthem (the chef in me is grateful for such support!)

my uncle, who has done nothing but help me out --- from moving my stuff back home to teaching me how to drive a stick shift (yes, i do not know how to drive until now --- yougot a problem with that?!)

my mom, who has been quite the trooper with everything else going on my life -- she is my role model in getting things organized and getting things done.

my cousin, the soon-to-be doctor --- he's been my coffee buddy, confidante and well, everyday gimmick dude (when he ain't in the hospital, anyway). cheerios!

and while i am in the thanking mood, the Guy up there who's saved me from falling and seriously killing myself in the process (i wish he leftout the shots,though :-P)

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pieces

we could end up broken hearted, we don't remember how this all started...it's our time, it's our time....

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This damn mood is getting me down too easily. The inner gut feeling i have of something dying slowly and painfully is insistently piercing my heart. I sense that soon all this may be just a memory conveniently locked up somewhere in the recesses of someone's mind.

Please, let me be wrong on this.

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and i'm just a waste of her energy, she's just a waste of my time... so why don't we get together, we could waste energy tonight...

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i miss the security that three simple words give me. i am lost, confused and more than a little bit frightened by the fact that everything is in enclosed by the shroud of doubt. i wish you can assure me somehow that it's ok.

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why do i suddenly feel like crying?

MISSION (hospital) : DEATH

I ran some errands for my mom today, just to send out some invites to some doctors in various areas. So i went to this particular hospital, but since it's Saturday, the doctor wasn't in. Naturally, i asked if can just drop it off. But no, the woman at the information assistance desk told me to go to the other building just to drop it off because the secretary wasn't there. So i did,, hoping to drop it off at the nurses' station at least since the doctor has several patients there anyway. Once there, i had to endure another rant by another doctor (some busybody who just started ranting ---she wasn't even the one i asked!) who told me to go back to the building i came from because, as she put it, "it's not done this way".

WTF!?!

Going back, i fell down a flight of stairs (This was not intentional on my part, btw, no matter how many people say i'm a klutz) The stairs were steep, and that rubber edge isn't as safe as it shoudl (it tripped a couple of people on the way up). Ironically, this was in a hospital where, instead of helping a wounded, dazed girl, the nurses stood by and idly watched.

Now i have a puncture wound the size of a 1-peso coin, not to mention some gashes on my left leg (not exactly a must-have for school), which reminds me of the numerous times in my childhood that i scrape dand cut myself in various forms and ways. In a kinda bizaare way, it's fascinating to see how easily the human skin can be marred, brusied and scraped, yet still grow back to the way it was before.

During the course of the whole incident, i was not only snubbed by the very people who should be taking care of me (i was bleeding down my leg in the middle of a hospital but nobody cared --- they looked at it and walked away! GEEZ!), i was actually reprimanded for not coming in on the appropriate day. What the hell is wrong with these people?!?

I really cannot understand why there are some people who, obliged and committed by their hippocratic oath to help, think that they are GOD and cannot easily do other tasks (they feel that this is "beneath them") --- i mean, how hard is it to accept the darn invite, and give it to the secretary/doctor on monday? HOw hard is it to just write a quick note on the invite so that anyone who is in the office can be notified to which doctor this should be sent over to? And lastly, WHY THE HELL would you blame the darn messenger for not knowing the hospital schedule?! I DO NOT work at the hospital so how should i know? Why do you have to give people shit about something they don't even know?

GEEZ.

This bureaucracy within the system sucks big time, especially when it's run by a couple of idiots who think time is not of the essence (it's a friggin' hospital! My office is more time efficient than this place). Cue, Mr. T:

"I pity the fool who ... gets their hospitalization here!!!"

it's all political

With the buzz of all tha scandal that shrouds the government today, it's a wonder how we as a nation are taking it all in with a smile (still).

The spoof TIME cover posted on Piercingpens made me sputter out a laugh, one which died almost too fast.

Now, with the mother of all tapes surfacing, the future is getting bleaker by the second. I'm finding less reasons to smile.

I for one am getting tired of the same old schtick. We did this in Erap's time, we did this every other damn president we elected. Every time we get an offical elected, there will always be scandal and opposition, which leads me to wonder why the HELL do we still elect these bad politicians anyway.

I wonder, just what is it in the Presidential position that people desire? The never-ending headache of solving people's problems in an ungodly and impossible deadline? (like everything else, we want instant gratification) Is it the never-ending flashbulbs of cameras at your face, the scandalous rumors and intrigue that hound your every move? Really, who WANTS that?!?

Show me a politician who's never done a bad deed and i'll show you a dead man.

I think we're better off with a Parliament. Democracy is getting us nowhere because everybody wants to lead everybody else.

dysfunctionality

the perfect family
the couple
the kid with a winning smile
envied
with those held hands
that romantic gaze
the blue ribbon pinned down
but behind the smile
sadness lurks within
those entwined fingers
will break away as soon as no one's watching
those gazes will soon turn away
that smile will falter
when no one's watching...

and then he said...

i will see you wherever you go.

back in the hood

Why is it that whenever i'm NOT in Manila, people seem to call or text in droves to meet up!?!!??? It's just sad and kinda annoying. People whom you have tried constantly to get it touch with over the past few weeks miraculously free up your sked just when you're leaving or just left. *sigh* I guess with my luck, this should be a normal thing already.

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These days the main issue is money. It's more so a matter of need than want, actually. With all the shit i'm facing at the homefront, it's a miracle i still haven't broken down (had a mini-breakdown a few hours ago, but nothing to really report on). Once again, kudos to the wonderful, amazingly STRONG person that is my mom. You are one heck of a woman, mom, don't let anyone ever convince you otherwise!!! (love you!)

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I guess this is the last vestiges of phase two of transition... you have to undergo the bad to appreciate the good and all that jazz. But really, do you have to? That only merits recognition to a certain amount of injustice,but if prolonged so you can end up being the scapegoat (worse yes, the jackass who just takes it all in)...

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I dunno, these days i am just disillusioned and depressed over certain ideals and things i can't seem to fix. It's hard enough seeing the damage, but it's even worse when you don't even know how to fix it, or even help out... :-(

digital

digital
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

My entry for IllustrationFriday's theme

presenting... kate's dresses!

presenting... kate's dresses!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.

yep, we love Kate Torralba's lovely creations! Prior to Cha's fab bday (celebrated on a whimsical, almost fairy-tale like night at Antonio's),the four of us bought these creations with the intention of wearing it to a special event. Good thing we did! :-)

The rain (slight drizzle as we spent the night eating,drinking and having fun) was a very nice companion, lending its pitter-patter to the tropical paradise which enveloped the restaurant. With lotsa wine, amazing mojitos and a fab dinner (not to mention some pretty interesting "questions and answers") we bid salud to the birthday gurl, Charita! :-)

Cha,You are one inspiring, amazing woman! Mwah! wishing you much love, success and happiness!!

Ibalik ang psychicpants!!!

Ibalik ang psychicpants
Originally uploaded by paolomanalo.

the crowd has spoken!

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